A little bit ago, I did something that I found very upsetting, and as has become more and more common, my mind decided it was "outta here....not gonna put up with that *****". So now I'm nice and numb, not to the point I can't function, but still. This is a coping mechanism that appears to be largely beyond my control and happens way too often anymore. On the one hand, it's nice. It saves me from some harsh emotions. On the other hand, it's not the right way to cope. I think I got this way because I'm often in situations where I can't show my emotions, so my head has nearly perfected this way....but it just isn't right.

I need some techniques/ideas to keep myself from disassociating, or ways I can bring myself out of it once it starts. I need to learn other ways to cope with stress. I need to work on the distress tolerance stuff for sure. It's definitely my biggest weakness.