There's no one proper way to be in a relationship except that each party is supposed to work hard to do their best and not judge! That he is analyzing you, could be his social worker self working overtime, does he realize how he comes across to you? I would tell him you do not need his criticism and analysis of your behaivor, just his relating to you as himself, telling you what he likes and does not like, not how you "should" be or comparing you to others!

When my husband wants a hug, he asks for a hug. None of us are mind readers or perfectly attuned to another. That you are not as spontaneous as those your boyfriend has known in the past does not mean there is anything "wrong" with you, your style and likes are different from his. That he enjoys hugs, sex, etc. good for him! But that is not about you. Tell him you are doing what is best for you and to quit his comparisons and criticism, those other people are not there in your relationship and can't help him. All that can help him and you is his being himself and sharing that self with you as he is inclined/able and hoping you will reciprocate in kind as you are inclined/able.