Quote:
Originally Posted by cka87
I just started seeking help to recover, I see my T every 2 weeks right now. I've only seen her 5 times now- so yea very new to this whole concept and still struggling with some very basic things so please forgive me ahead of time.
anyway- I'm really really scared to death this week my eating has been out of control. I have spent years restricting and being "perfect" right ? well now I feel like I can't stop eating. even when I'm not hungry; when I'm stuffed I just keep eating. I don't know what's going on, like somehow seeking help my brain just assumes I can effing eat now!?! like I've been given some sort of pass? it would be different if I was eating like a normal human being but I'm out of control. I'm a monster. I'm terrified. what if I never have any self control again, what if I continue to eat and eat and eat and I end up overweight like **** I'm so scared. I don't know who to turn to. I feel like seeing a T has been an awful decision. I'm scared and alone and I don't want to do this anymore.
how do you cope when you're alone, am I going to end up obese? I feel like I'm about to go insane. has anyone had this happen
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The thread says that you are "regretting your choices".
You are not making any choices. It is not as if you were calmly making a choice between a glass of red wine and a glass of white wine based on your own preferences or a sommelier's recommendations. No, you are OUT OF CONTROL. You are not a monster, but you are OUT OF CONTROL.
So you are not making any choices, because to make choices, you need to have minimal self-control, and you do not have it. So, there is nothing to regret. You are not making good choices OR bad choices - you are not making ANY choices because you are out of control, and you are out of control because
you have a severe disorder, which needs treatment. It will not be treated via blaming yourself, via calling yourself names such as "monster", etc. All of that is counterproductive.