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Old Apr 19, 2013, 05:20 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cka87 View Post
I just started seeking help to recover, I see my T every 2 weeks right now. I've only seen her 5 times now- so yea very new to this whole concept and still struggling with some very basic things so please forgive me ahead of time.

anyway- I'm really really scared to death this week my eating has been out of control. I have spent years restricting and being "perfect" right ? well now I feel like I can't stop eating. even when I'm not hungry; when I'm stuffed I just keep eating. I don't know what's going on, like somehow seeking help my brain just assumes I can effing eat now!?! like I've been given some sort of pass? it would be different if I was eating like a normal human being but I'm out of control. I'm a monster. I'm terrified. what if I never have any self control again, what if I continue to eat and eat and eat and I end up overweight like **** I'm so scared. I don't know who to turn to. I feel like seeing a T has been an awful decision. I'm scared and alone and I don't want to do this anymore.

how do you cope when you're alone, am I going to end up obese? I feel like I'm about to go insane. has anyone had this happen
The thread says that you are "regretting your choices".

You are not making any choices. It is not as if you were calmly making a choice between a glass of red wine and a glass of white wine based on your own preferences or a sommelier's recommendations. No, you are OUT OF CONTROL. You are not a monster, but you are OUT OF CONTROL.

So you are not making any choices, because to make choices, you need to have minimal self-control, and you do not have it. So, there is nothing to regret. You are not making good choices OR bad choices - you are not making ANY choices because you are out of control, and you are out of control because you have a severe disorder, which needs treatment. It will not be treated via blaming yourself, via calling yourself names such as "monster", etc. All of that is counterproductive.