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Apr 19, 2013, 06:07 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled
...She called me and asked me to come in today so she could talk to me. I went and I don't remember much, but she essentially apologized for not hearing me when I pretty much was saying in my own words that she was pushing to hard. she apologized for not hearing me and for not meeting me where I was. She said that she figured bc I've made so much surface level progress (going back to school, cutting back on my drinking, etc) that she thought I was ready to tackle the issue with my mother (by inviting her to a T appointment!). She said after she read my email she realized that I wasn't ready to deal with an emotionally charged issue just yet.
She also told me that 2 weeks ago was the first time she'd ever seen me THAT agitated and aggravated and suggested that I go on med  WHAT???? BC one day I am really agitated and almost full of rage, she thinks it's cuz i need meds, and didnt consider that maybe I was THAT irritated bc of HER? I didn't say anything about that I just nodded and let her talk.
I am assuming that this was a rupture.... |
Sounds like a rupture to me. And a confusing one. On the one hand she seems she owned that she pushed too hard, and didn't understand. It sounded very sincere and I felt myself softening. ON the other hand, she thought the solution was for you to go on meds (which I assume haven't been an issue before). Sounds like a mixed message.
I don't think all ruptures are fatal to therapy, but I think I should have paid a lot more attention to my exT's response than I did. I assumed, as many do here, that it's just therapy, and the T knows what to do. I was wrong. This T didn't know.
I can't even envision this happening with my current T. We've had disagreements, and hurt feelings. But his response is always so open, and he owns what is his when I tell him, and we explore what is mine, that I don't see a rupture happening. Maybe all ruptures are not fatal, but maybe they are a sign of something wrong that should be fixed?
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