Quote:
Originally Posted by also_depr
If you have a dysfunctional family and get into heavy discussions, with lots of shouting all the time,
how should you judge what has been said?
If someone says that he hates you, or that you should be completely different, or such things that hurts.
Should you dismiss it as it was said as someone was angry
or
should you accept that as the real truth, that was waiting to come out?
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Answers to your questions:
You shouldn't.
No, no, and no.
Judging does not help. This is not real communication, utterances to be interpreted. This is chaos.
What you should do, IMO, since you asked, is work on better communication. Either alone, with everyone, or with one other if they are willing. But don't take this behaviour as the norm. Transcend it. It is pain. Learn to work things out constructively. Eventually, though someone may say something rotten or yell again, there will be something else to turn to to "unpack" what happened together. My family was like you describe. It's not like that with my husband. When there is stupid behaviour, we admit it and try to learn from it and move beyond such a way of being. Feels good.