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Originally Posted by Aokigahara
I have that issue too, but probably much worse. i'm not bragging by any means. i do feel bad about it, but i can be extremely cold to people who i'm close to. its like being emotional with them just feels gross or awkward. i'm not entirely sure why that is, but it makes it hard to connect with people. i wish i could give advice on how to handle it, but i can't give advice that i'm not willing to follow, myself.
as far as grieving goes, everyone does it differently. both on an individual level and also on a cultural level. no one else can tell you how to react in those situations as long as you're not being outright disrespectful or callous. sometimes other people are actually the ones who are wrong, and its important to know when. defiance isn't always appropriate though. sometimes just knowing you're not at fault is enough.
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I am not a fan of showing emotion anymore. Not that I really can anymore. I feel emotion but I do not know how to display it. When I talked to my mom about what I said to my dad when he told my uncle had died. I really did not respond to him appropriately. My mom said that my response was indifferent. Whatever the heck that means. It them all hard but it made it hard for me because I really did not feel sad. Although for me the environment he was living in seemed miserable to me, so the thing I thought was logical is that I was glad/happy for him that it was finally over. I did not display joy he was dead, I was just glad it was over for him. He had tried committing suicide in 1989 or so. The only result is he became blind. But the life he lived from that point on was really sad and miserable to me and the only emotion I felt is that I am glad it is over for him so he does not have to be miserable and suffer anymore. I almost envied him even since he was finally able to escape. It was almost like I had no other room for the emotion of feeling sad. I see how it impacted all my family members I could see it in the room and when I talked to them. But I just could not feel it or relate. I dunno. I guess it may have been one of those inappropriate responses........ugh.