It is hard, hun, indeed!

I once wrote, and I am curious if you'll identify, as I, too, once fell for an online friend, who started drifting off...

"I don't want to be your everything;
I want to be your somebody;
I feel like your nobody."

Friendship or love interest, when used to consistent contact, for me it was numerous times a day, to maybe a little here and there a couple times a week...nothing like it used to be. Tried no contact, once. He came back and claimed I had issues with running away. Then tried telling him, that I couldn't handle a friendship with the topics he was constantly bring up, mainly other female friends--don't want to know more about other women then I know about myself--that's a lot! He refused to meet me in person, to see if there was more and if he and I could proceed to the next level. So, because I wanted to just take a break, he called me manipulative.

Well, sorry to bring my story onto the table, just want you to know, I can relate to trying so hard to let go. And either being ignored or feeling like being tugged back in. I eventually realized, he'd become a bad habit that I needed to break.
*sigh*...

Relationships can bring such pain.

I do like how you are writing it out here...wow, very healing.