Sewerrats, Ive tried thinking like that but my mind is set on bad thoughts, or so it seems. Its almost like I have an obsessive compulsive disorder of some kind. My phobias have gotten so bad, that Ive stopped eating a lot of different foods. I cant drive due to a phobia of fainting behind the wheel & hurting people. Its just frustrating. I was on low dose 2mgs Valium but I wanted to combine it with CBT but my pdoc just didnt ever try to do the Cbt. He kept just giving me 15-20 minutes once a month. So I quit going to him after 3 years of half *** therapy. That was in Nov. Hopefully Tuesday, my new Gwill help me find good psychotherapy.

George, Ive tried telling myself that, too. But its not death that scares me, its the thought of leaving my kids & husband. It seriously freaks me out. Ive been in & out of therapy since I was 7 years old for Ptsd & panic disorder. Im 32 now. Thats a lot of therapy. I tried to bring up hypochondria with different docs, most recently with the Er doc, and they either crackva smile like Im joking, or they tell me hypochondria is a made up disorder. I wish they could wake up as me one day. Mabye theyll treat hypochondria as an actual illness. Its frustrating trying to explain it to GPs. No one understands it unless theyve felt this kind of fear. Its truly an all consuming thing. Im just so tired.

Today has been rough. About an hour ago, I hyperventilated and almost passed out. I dont have any anti anxiety meds so I kinda forced myself to take a flexeril hoping itll help the panic attacks & insomnia they cause....*sigh* hoping is all I do anymore