Big Mama, no, that is not true for all women.

I tandem-nursed (meaning, nursed a toddler through a pregnancy with her baby sister, and then nursed two for a while, together, one on each breast), so I was nursing more than usual, but after the baby was born, I had intercourse probably within 3-5 days - the birth was a home birth and the midwives in attendance said that it was OK to have intercourse - after hospital births, the usual advice is to wait for 6 weeks, but they said that since the birth was just a normal uneventful vaginal birth (well, not quite uneventful since I hemorrhaged, but uneventful enough in their opinion), I could go ahead, and I did, with pleasure.

Kelly, I think the culprit is your attitude. Your attitude is really unusual. Normally, mothers of one year old daughters are not

Partly, this is so because mothers of one year old children, usually, are too wrapped up in day-by-day stuff. Childproofing the apartment or house, watching the baby, averting immediate dangers, singing to the baby if you like that, blotting spilled milk with paper towels, going for a walk... things like that. And then, after being wrapped up in day-to-day stuff, mothers just drop dead tired, some after sex, others without sex, but most not fretting over what would happen in a distant future and certainly not losing sleep over it.

I did have ONE moment like that, actually - when my son was a baby, I was learning how to drive a car (I was very late with that), and at some point I became terrified to death thinking how he would grow up and need to learn to drive a car... So I understand, to a point. Still, it was a feeling of terror for a minute or two - I did not stay awake at night due to it.

You are weird about the whole thing.

But you know it. So you will be able to deal with it.