He had tried committing suicide in 1989 or so. The only result is he became blind. But the life he lived from that point on was really sad and miserable to me and the only emotion I felt is that I am glad it is over for him so he does not have to be miserable and suffer anymore. I almost envied him even since he was finally able to escape. It was almost like I had no other room for the emotion of feeling sad. I see how it impacted all my family members I could see it in the room and when I talked to them. But I just could not feel it or relate. I dunno.