Thanks for the comments/advice.. I'm definitely not thinking about marriage at this point! but I would like a substantial relationship if it comes to that. I'm also well aware of the realities when it comes to marriage and divorced and wouldn't be surprised to get divorced at least once.

Having a "whatever" attitude is a good idea, but it's so hard sometimes especially with the splitting that comes with BPD.. he is a SAINT at this point.. and yes I know it's only been one date.

I just wish I didn't think so bad of myself to think I don't deserve love.