R2MN - I have just read your post and feel so concerned for you. I don't have much time to reply now but just wanted to tell you that you are doing exactly what you need to do - you are forming a dependency so you can do YOUR work - but it feels she doesn't have the skills, knowledge or self awarenesss to understand that for you. As you said - she is CBT - and that will not give you the relational therapy you seem to need - and deserve.

The early dependency on our primary caregiver is vital to give us the capacity to be independant as adults. If it didn't go too well we need a therapy to rework that for us - we NEED to be able to depend on the therapist - it is absolutely right that you do. But CBT doesn't work that way and you are likely to continue to be pushed away and told to be more independant. That is cruel. What she doesn't realise is that we can only be properly independant if we have the opportunity to be able to depend - to experience a secure attachment. CBT has it's place - but it cannot work with your attachment in the way you clearly need - and speak so eloquently.

Will be back later

Moon