Still in intense emotional pain. Can't stop crying…my eyes are sore and swollen. I have this awful sense of foreboding. My thoughts and urges are escalating even more (if that's possible). My destructive behaviours have me reeling in mixed emotions. I wonder where I will end up? Back in the Unit? Worse?

Why can't I ask for help (proper help)?. I did try reaching out to someone in real life but I got burned…