
Apr 20, 2013, 08:08 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRealFDeal
Oy, I could have written that. It sounds eerily like something that happened to me.
My T told me that I had become too attached. He tried to reign in the boundaries like not returning my calls like he used to. It was not very helpful. In retrospect, I'm like "Duh, that's part of the disorder you're treating me for." He did not help me with the attachment by pushing me away. He should have been more therapeutic in his approach if he believed this, because I sure didn't know how to "just stop" feeling so dependent.
He also hurt me. He said I shouldn't feel hurt by him, that it's not "personal."  If therapy's not personal, I don't know what is.
In the end, I felt blamed for the very symptoms of my disorder, the very thing I was there to be treated for. He couldn't handle them.
If you go back, do not stand for her telling you are too dependent, essentially putting the blame on you for failure to move forward. This is not the way to make progress. She needs to help you, not make you feel at fault.
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And I could have written this!. Only she didn't tell me she had to reign in the boundaries. She just started doing it, and then said it wasn't personal (but I knew of others with wider boundaries). But she never told me not to be hurt - she never recognized the hurt. I totally get that the client (you, me, others) doesn't know how to "just stop" being dependent.
I thnk an adjustment in boundaries shoudl be negotiated. THat doesn't mean the T can't set the limits they want - but it means it's done in a way to insure the limits are understood, and necessary.
I totally agree with your final paragraph. Blaming the client for being as are that brought them to therapy isn't helpful. 
Last edited by Syra; Apr 20, 2013 at 11:37 AM.
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