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I have always had a cluttery disorganized living space starting in early childhood. My parents tried but I seemed to be uncomfortable unless I could do a 360 turn in my bedroom and see at once everything that I possessed around me in a single twirl. My dad used to tease when we had company; “please avoid Lucy’s room as we couldn’t afford the bulldozer payment this month”.
In adulthood I kept things neater depending on my current location. If I was living in a town where friends might drop in regularly ( my home town in earlier adulthood, college town, workplace local), I’d keep it neater because I felt shame when visitors dropped in and saw the chaos.
If I was living with a spouse then I tried to match his needs as I see this as part of the compromise that you make in relationships. My house was generally cleaner/neater.
Living alone, it’s like childhood again. I tend not to ever say drop in any time to people and I clean like a maniac when someone is coming. I become the human bulldozer and scoop up piles of laundry and mail depositing them in piles in an 11X11 bedroom that I use as a big walk in closet.
Closer friends who come over regularly think nothing of the mess. It is Lucy. If it’s clean and neat on the other hand, the close friends know that mania has arrived and they don’t hesitate to mention it.
Messiness truly has never bothered me other than when I think that someone else may be uncomfortable with it.
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