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Old Apr 20, 2013, 12:54 PM
ultramar ultramar is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise View Post
I think her suggestion of meds after one display of aggravation says more about her than you. It sounds like she is uncomfortable with clients expressing anger so she wants to "fix" it by having you go on meds. At least that is one interpretation. I see your expressing your aggravation as a way to get her attention. It sounds like you had told her more than once in a calmer fashion that you did not want to talk about the situation with your mother and she did not hear you. Your email and getting aggravated and angry helped her hear you. I think this bears a lot of further talking with her. Can she handle your anger? One reaction of a client might be to be reluctant to ever express anger to their T again if the T couldn't handle the anger even one time. That would not be good for your therapy at all. You need to feel safe and free from censure about whatever feelings you express to her. I also think you showed really good skills in sensing your own anger and taking a little break of silence so you didn't go over the top. This is great! I am proud of you just reading it. I think you handled the situation really well. I hope you can talk more to T and really get to the bottom of this. Perhaps she's been feeling for some time you should try meds and it is not just this one incident? Who knows. Please talk to her.

My last session with my T was repairing a rupture, which we don't have often at all (I wrote about it in a thread a couple of days ago). I think these rupture and repair sessions where we are angry can be really important ones. My T had no problem hearing my anger. If he had suggested I go on meds because of getting angry one time in the last several years, I would have been flabbergasted! And probably even angrier. You wrote that a main issue for you is expressing deeper feelings so here was a situation where you expressed them. Fantastic progress for you! I hate how your T's meds comment seems like a desire to tamp that honesty down.
I completely agree with this, sunrise, you said it better than I ever could!

Best of luck Lifelesstravelled, I think you guys can work this out
Thanks for this!
lifelesstraveled