Quite simply, I don't believe in being with someone for any other reason than "I want to"...

I know how complicated relationships can get, I know its not always cut and dry, but really, how can anyone or either spouse be truelly happy if 1 of them didn't want to be there in the first place? its not fair to either spouse, and you admitted you never wanted to get married to begin with. Doesn't sound like you've had a change of heart...

I don't believe in sacrificing my happiness for religion, kids or anyone. Its my responsibility to ensure I lead a happy life.

Yeah it was dumb admitting to the affair, because what did it accomplish except hurting you husband with the truth? Now on the other hand, if you confessed because you sought a way out... That would be understandable.

Idk I dont have any advice except to do some soul searching and find your happiness.