Hi and welcome, sorry for what you and your family are going through. I agree it sounds like more than adhd. Went through similar issues with my now 17 yr old - ends up with a bp and adhd dx.

We tried many meds - they didn't help us - in fact risperdal caused a growth of left breast on my son. Sorry to scare you, but psych meds are heavy duty and parents aren't really told about these risks. My son will need surgery now, and is embarrassed to take his shirt off in public.

Therapy helps if you can find the right match. Your son deserves an IEP, especially for behavior/discipline in school. There is a great book Lost at School & 1-2-3 Magic I recommend. I'm afraid that the school will discipline him too harshly, isolate him, destroy his self-esteem if they are not kept in check. Your son has something going on, has right to a fair and appropriate public education. With an IEP in place, he can be allowed so many accomodations, like a safe place to go to calm down without having to wait for teacher approval. The self - esteem is so at risk at this age.

Those are my initial thoughts - hang in there - there is help for him and you, the school usually try to deny any ownership to help fix the problems - blaming it on your parenting, wanting you to put him on meds, it's pretty horrible and rough out there. but there is help. glad you found this place, wise moms, teachers, people here.