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Originally Posted by sukothefox
Well, tbh, it has kinda affected my grades indirectly. I constantly brood about whether I am stupid and that iq test lied, or if I am just overthinking. That has made me to pay even less attention, and I developed trichotillomania, and I already have a small bald spot. I stopped recently, since I am trying to relax.
And he has his good moments, when he comes home and asks me how am I, or when he asks me about science. But Thats a little rare, usually he disbelieves what I tell him, or starts questioning the sanity of the person who wrote what i read, when in fact they are accomplishes scientists from universities like yale or harvard.
I tried many times before to talk to him about parallel universes, and how they may explain the reason of the big bang. There is this theory that says that before this unverse started, the only thing existing was vacuum energy, virtual particles that popped into existence and anhilated each other instantly. So at one moment, one of those fluctuations can become a universe, just like ours, ane create many others.
What did my dad say? "thats just a theory, very implausible. They dont want to admit God did it all". And I dont want to offend you, since you believe in a god. I am perfectly fine with it, I believe in pantheism myself. But I cant believe he dismisses a perfectly reasonable and rational theory just because it doesnt fit his experience. So what i did is that I stopped talkig to him about what I read, and when he asks me what am I reading I just answer "stuff". Ofcourse , he tells me he isnt giving me any money if I dont tell him, but I dont care anymore. I am planning to get a job here at college, since they respect one's schedule.
Oh! and he always makes this argument about how something isn't true or real just because he hasn't lived or seen it. That's the dummest argument ever, since you dont see the moon's craters and marias but you accept they exist!
I talked to him about the ststistic of men who die after their wives die, which is a significantly high one, and what did he say? He of course accepted it! lol I wish that was even right. Right away he contradicted me and said how he has a few friends whose wives have died, and none of them have thoght of suicide or died, because "they have a stronger character". He is just some macho asshole, and in no way he is a role model for me. I am a guy, and I bought a hello kitty bag for my ipad, and a melody plush, and he shook his head in disapproval. In no way will I do that to my children if I ever have them. I know how all this crap feels, and I am not going to repeat it.
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Your IQ test did not lie. We as ad/hd'ers have really great innate intelligence, it is just that the model of teaching presented to us in school does not fit our learning style and does not bring out the best in us and let us shine. As far as the brooding and over-thinking goes, that is all to common for us to over think and rethink many things, most of the time though, at least for me things I over-think and rethink are the negatives, like if I make a mistake I think about it and look at from many different angles trying to see how I made the mistake and if there was anything different I could have done to prevent it. To often that is the basis of our over-thinking, we just need to learn to focus it on the positive's. I know easier said then done. But also this kind of thinking is what lets us be innovator's and entrepreneurs and free thinker's of the world that allows humans as a species to progress and keep moving forward. People who look at thing's straightforward only see it in one light, but we see it in many lights. Helps make new and original ideas.
Not to be rude, but does your father believe in the theory that the earth was created only 3000 yrs ago, like what the christian's are teaching at a high school in my town? I also want to be clear, I have no problem if people believe, but for me the problem comes in when they believe in something so blindly they do not look at it rationally, and immediately dismiss the science behind it to back it up. Or the way they present there argument, there is no logical way to rebuttal it since they left it open ended and you cannot possibly refute it no matter how much concrete evidence you have. I am not saying your father does believe the earth was created 3000 yrs ago, but the demeanor you have described of him, portrays this kind of thinking to me and that is the case for him. I am not saying that it is all solely religious based either. But that seems to me to be the kind of closed minded thinking/style that he has. He is right and no matter what anyone else says they are wrong, even if they have the evidence to back it up.
I am really sorry you have to go through this. But the best revenge for you will be to become successful, more successful then he ever thought possible, prove him wrong at every turn, move forward and become better then he ever thought you would.