So I'm a peer support specialist, I don't know if every state has this or if it's the same, but basically to get this certification you have to have a mental illness but actively pursuing recovery (personally I deal with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and an eating disorder) so you can be a mentor (peer) to the people you work with rather than some like psychiatrist up on some pedestal. I'm in my 20s and I guess an average looking female.

I just started this job at a peer support center 2 months ago, and I was surprised at the number of men of all ages telling me how pretty I am and complimenting me and somewhat flirting with me, including hugging. I know this is sometimes frowned upon in therapy, but it's actually encouraged here (and I hug females as well) as you kind of want to have a friendly rapport with people.

Basically at the job I am in charge - enforcing the rules, running a support group, being available to talk if someones having a problem (though I am NOT a therapist, I have no certification or education to do that), etc, but most of the time I just kind of hang out with everyone and try to create a healthy, fun atmosphere.

There is one person in particular that is only 5 years older than me, and from the start he was one telling me I'm pretty and things and it was fine. My supervisor said it's going to happen and as long as they don't get inappropriate or make me uncomfortable, it's fine.

Yesterday he had a crisis and I basically had to talk to him in private for quite a while to help him calm down and he revealed a lot of personal, probably embarrassing stuff. After we were done talking and he felt better, he hugged me but it lingered a lot more than usual but I just took it that he was upset and needed someone at that moment.

So today when he came in, he totally ignored me. I wanted to follow up with him on some stuff we had talked about to make sure he was okay, but he blew me off. I took it as him being embarrassed and it was fine (I know not to take it personally), but then after lunch he came to me and asked me out on a date. I told him that I could not do that as it was not allowed by the rules and would be inappropriate. I felt like this was the best option because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like we couldn't talk or hang out at work in a platonic way. He was fine with that answer, but then as the afternoon went on, I kind of got the feeling he assumed I did want to go out with him but I just couldn't because of work, but that's really not the case, and I really don't want to lead him on and think that maybe it could be a possibility someday.

Is this transference? I feel somewhat responsible and guilty, like he probably felt we had a "real" connection after yesterday when he told me all of that personal stuff and thats why he suddenly felt comfortable asking me out. How do I handle this? I am not keen on telling my supervisor he did this because I don't want to embarrass him or make him not trust me and he didn't really do anything wrong.

Sorry this is really long. I appreciate any insight anyone can provide, even if it's your own personal perspective on feeling that way towards a mental health worker. I have only had female therapists and have never felt any sort of feelings more-than-therapist towards them. I will be talking to mine about this, but I don't see her until Thursday.