Let's see, the Rabbi states you are in a toxic relationship, but errs against divorce feeling that with intervention, your H will change?
Hmmm, coaxing, getting a personality disorder prognosis, going sober, etc...didn't change the toxicity that my exh brought into the marital home.
Some old dogs cannot be taught new tricks.
But with this out there, with your reaching out for spiritual guidance, what will you end up choosing?
~F~