I recently got a new job, in an absolutely beautiful part of Colorado, and have since moved to that location. I had a major accident when driving there on Monday in the bad weather, but fortunately, I am fine, and my car will be fine in a week and a half. I'm looking for an apartment while I temporarily stay in one of the properties owned by the resort at which I'm now employed. I am enjoying my work and the gorgeous surroundings, and things are coming together out here, but my problem is my mentality. I am so used to having a "loser" mentality, because, for the longest time, nothing has worked out for me. I have either failed, or the best-laid plans have fallen through with disastrous consequences. I personally have a great deal of trouble with the "leap of faith" concept - how can I have faith when everything, EVERYTHING, that I have attempted before has blown up in my face? Not to offend anyone who is religious, but to me, constantly having faith when things constantly fall through is a sign of a lack of common sense. It's an awful feeling, because you have to believe you can do something in order to actually do it, but when you've screwed up so many times before, how can you possibly have faith in yourself? It seems that every time I tell myself that THIS TIME, I will succeed, I simply end up failing again, which only reinforces the negative mentality that seems to have festered in me for way too long. My dad always says, "A mind is a terrible thing," and in my case, it may be true...