I think of it as existing until I find a way to take control of my life and manage my depression. I think of my wife and that helps me hold on until I can be happy again. Maybe not existing, but surviving. I think in some ways depression is worse than a physical illness. At least with a physical illness you usually have a cause and I chance for healing. It seams with depression it is a mystery to most people and you have to sort through deep issues and change how you fundamental react to life to improve it. The constant despair and hopelessness can take a lot of energy and will to fight, but I think we have to search within us to keep holding on, and fight depression. I think there is the hope to be happy one day and not feel the constant despair of depression. I hope everyone fighting depression has the strength to hang on and can be happy again one day soon.