I do this sometimes and I find it disturbing. Not so much distrubing as it makes me feel less than alive. I was having a really bad couple of days Monday and Tuesday and then by Wednesday I didn't feel anything anymore. It was good in a way that I started to be able to function better and I got some school work and stuff accomplished at work, but I was emotionally unable to feel anything. My wife called me and told me her mom had a stroke. She is ok, but at the time I should have felt at least sad and worried, but I didn't feel anything.

Then on the way home, I did something I am not proud of. I just got the impulse to drive fast. It was raining pretty heavily and I shouldn't have done it. I could have killed myself or hurt someone else. I just wanted to feel something, even if it was an adrenaline rush and fear. I wish I knew how to control those feelings, or I guess I should say control lack of feelings.