Jay and I have have been friends for almost ten years now, I'm 30 years old. We've gone through so many ups and downs with the issues of us deciding if we should ever be more then just best friends. He's been in love with me for so many years and I was always resistant to the idea but finally last year I gave our relationship a chance but I quickly changed my mind. It was that one moment that I decided to be with him that I've lost a great friend. I miss my best friend, I miss him dearly. There's always been an unspoken intimacy between Jay and I even before I gave our relationship a chance and now I've lost my best friend and the closeness we once had. He's put up his walls because his heart is broken that I couldn't follow through with our relationship and I hurt his feelings. He keeps telling me that it was a mistake for loving me and that he was foolish. I wish we could go back to how we use to be before him and I was intimate. He won't allow us to go back to how we use to be. There's no way I could convince him otherwise. I suppose its exbf and exgf trying to stay friends.
I'm having the hardest time, not going to him to be there for me like how he use to be. He said he doesn't mind staying in my life but things are so different now. Moving on without him, a friend that meant so much to me is so difficult. Im having a hard time learning the new boundaries between us and to not depend on him so much for the support he once gave me as my bestfriend and for the little moment we had as we dated. I miss him so much, he's in my life but his no longer emotionally there as my bestfriend or bf.