Quote:
Originally Posted by Bedobones
For me it's the constant strain of working to keep up a pretense of being someone I'm not... & the older I get the harder & more difficult it becomes. And, I think, the worst part is realizing that it will always be this way unless I just totally fall apart at some point down the road. Sometimes it feels like I just can't stand it another minute... but I do...  |
I agree! I try so hard to keep my actual mind secret from everyone around me, even my husband. I've been so super high for two weeks now but I try to contain it and end up having a panic attack because i can't let the energy out. And when I'm depressed, how can i tell people I didn't hear what they said because my brain was throwing images of self-injury at me just then?
I too am mostly functional, so no one will ever know who I really am unless I lose it. I hope that day never comes but sometimes I wish it would so that i could stop pretending!
<3
