This is something I have dealt with my whole life...and today is another one of those days where I don't have time for it, but here it is again doggin me!
I have these memories of events in my life...almost all of them are embarrasing moments where I look back and think "_________must think I am insane"
Like in 8th grade I "fell in love" with a friends cousin; she did like me but she lived in Colorado and she gave me her address so I could keep in touch...instead I sent her these long letters about how beautiful she was and how much I loved her and how...oh God she must have thought I was a frickin lunatic cause she NEVER wrote back!
And the problem I have is that right now, its as if I am back in 8th grade and can feel that tug on my heart and I can hear my dad tell my mom "your son is in love."
See, now I have opened the flood gate and I can't even bear to list anything else for the sheer embarrassment of it...
And it's random as heck too...I don't seem to have any choice but to endure the memory of whatever my brain uncovers; sometimes there is only one memory and other times, like today, its like a list and I keep on shaking my head and like an ipod it just skips to the next one on the playlist.
So is that some kind of "mental health" issue I am unaware of? Do others have similar issues? If not, do 'normal' people just have embarrassing moments and then they just never remember them? Or is there a 'normal' cycle to these memories and mine isn't working properly? IS this related to being BPD2?
Thanks to all my fellow PC'ers for reading and assisting.
I know you all are not Pdocs or T's, but your input is VERY important to me!