Thoughts still racing so much hard to keep on one topic. Happy? maybe. I don't even know. Blankets so warm, wish I could sleep just to pass time. Haven't slept more than 4 hours but feel rested as if 'd had a full 8. Had a ton to drink last night, didn't even mellow me out still couldn't sleep ended up writing. So much writing, pages and pages, read it over this morning and it's actually coherent. How is that coherent but my thoughts do't feel like they've been?! Dad thinks this must be normal me? Why? I feel so out of control and crazy!