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Lovebird, I believe the desire to be held and nutured is basic to all humans. I don't see wanting to be nurtured/protected or needing to self-sooth as being "childish". Again, I believe it's part of being human.
You mention coloring in a book. I do. I have a staqck of coloring books, crayons, colored pencils and pastels. After a rough day coloring can help me chill out. What's the difference in my coloring and someone else painting?
Thumb sucking? While I don't see a problem with it others might. You might want to go somewhere private to do it. When I was in grad school one of my profs talked about a client he had whose wife made him come in for therapy because he would come home from work and suck his thumb. Classmates thought I was odd when I said she was the one who needed to be in therapy. In my opinion he was doing something to help himself relax that did not harm anyone else. I wondered if the wife would have preferred he come home and get drunk. Your quote about the person who gave up thumb sucking for smoking struck home for me. I often wonder if behaviors like smoking are a substitute for thumb sucking.
Sit in someone's lap? Once again, I believe we all have a need to be nurtured. To this day there are times I wish I could crawl in someone's lap and have them tell me it will all be OK. I'm single so it's not going to happen, but I still wish I could. Have you talked to your husband about it? Back in the day, I used to sit in my hubby's lap on occasion just to spend some time together.
Watch cartoons? What harm in that? Probably healthier than a lot of the other poop that's on TV!
Play with toys? Again, why not? Play is a basic part of human nature also IMHO. I have all sorts of toys around my house ranging from stuffed animals to wind up toys to computer games.
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