My Support Forums - View Single Post - Black Sheep of the family

ultramar · Apr 21, 2013, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

Acceptance tips? Forget insulin metaphores. Forget "I am ill". If you see it as illness, chances are you will never accept "it's okay to be who I am". YOu will always see yourself as ill, broke brain....

Many of the things we do are not illness. If family has problem with us, it's often not because of our "illness", it's because we do things differently. You could be neurotypical and it would be still issue. Your career, your partners, where you live, how you cook, how you dress, the way you peel oranges...

You don't have to explain yourself to you. Education? I don't know, I always thought that "education your family and friends about your disorder" comes across as somewhat obnoxious. If you aren't doing anything bad, you have nothing to apologize for... if you hurt somebody, make up for that, don't "educate" them.
What I am saying... you yourself know if you cross the lines... if you done bad ****... lot can be forgiven. Made up for. If you are just different and troubled... it's nobody's business to judge you.

I think this is well put VenusHally. I'm not saying you (OP) are doing this, but when I try to put myself in my family's shoes, if I were to ask them to forgive and understand everything I've done up until now (I'm around your age) through the lens of bipolar, I don't think that would be fair to them. Over the years, I've had trouble in my relationships with immediate family (parents, brother), including being estranged for some time, that has little or nothing to do with the bipolar. There are historical family issues and psychological issues that are complicated. I can see my family not being at all supportive if I were to say now that all the difficulties of the past were due to bipolar. So much of what we do has little to do with bipolar (as VenusHally pointed out) -we are who we are apart from that, and much of this other stuff can't be fixed with medications.

If they want to research it on the Internet, that's up to them; if they're not doing that or are but it's not helping the relationship, then I wouldn't push it. If I were you, I'd try to work on your relationships with them as you would if you weren't diagnosed with bipolar. Easier said than done of course, but maybe a therapist could help, as it sounds very important to you to repair these relationships.

Good luck!