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Old Apr 21, 2013, 07:08 PM
ultramar ultramar is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
Quote:
Originally Posted by purpledaisy View Post
SETTING: Kitchen table with 8 women spending the evening playing a board game.

CHARACTERS: A few of the women met in elementary school. Along the way, they have added friends and acquaintances to the group, with one having been in the group for more than 5 years, another who joined the group several months ago, and another who just met the group tonight but also went to school with a few of the women.

CONVERSATION: During the course of the evening, as always, conversations pop up, are discussed, and then end. There are stories of husbands and children, stories from the women's jobs, talk of activities and recipes, etc.

At one point, Callie shares a story about legal problems she has been having and the individual who she is battling in court. Ever since Callie joind the group several months ago, after having been an acquaintance of one of the women, she has talked about this legal situation at every single gathering.

Everyone listens to Callie's update on the legal story AGAIN.

Later, Callie shares in great detail about several medical conditions, including depression, AGAIN.

Everyone listens to Callie's update on the medical conditions AGAIN.

Then someone asks me a question about my life and my mind races for the words to answer their question without going into great detail. I begin to answer.

Callie sighs.

I hear her sigh and look in her direction while I am talking.

Callie rolls her eyes.

Callie mutters under her breath (but loud enough to be heard), "Oh, here we go again."

I kept talking, but I was thinking, "Did she just say what I thought she said? No. Surely not. We all just listened to her stories AGAIN. Why can't she take a few minutes to listen to mine?"

This happened three times during the course of the evening. Callie talks and expects everyone to listen, but when I say something she sighs, rolls eyes, and mutters.

The other women politely listen to the whole thing and remain neutral. No one says anything like, "Callie, let her talk. You had a chance to talk. It's her turn." No one tells me I'm talking too much. I can't tell if the others are feeling uncomfortable about this, or if they even notice Callie's reaction to me.

What the hell?
It sounds like the others aren't going to rescue you from this woman, so I would suggest you confront her directly. i.e.: "Is me talking about x bothering you?" I'm of the mind that starting with questions rather than launching into an accusation -which may create a knee-jerk defensive response- is more effective She sounds passive aggressive and I've found the best way to deal with that is to be direct, bring the elephant in the room out into the open.
Thanks for this!
Yoda