I have done my best all weekend to be a good supportive wife, we had a convention 3 hours away and riding up there was hell, my knee pain I so bad....I can't see that the shot did much yet, it sure did hurt worse than cortisone.
We went on a bus tour but by a couple hours in I was miserable, if I didn't get off the bus at each stop my husband would yell at me, so I went. By the end I was just kind of accepting it and I didn't argue or anything so idk what I done wrong, But when we got to the motel all I wanted was rest and I was a stock in the mud all weekend. I don't think my hubby is too thrilled with me but oh well.
I ate bunches of ibuprofen and aleve in addition to prescribed medication.
I would just like to know why we can't just replace them and be done. I'm tired of pills. I'm tired of pain. I want to go to work more. I want to have FUN and be HAPPY! I want to garden and shop and work on my crafts. I want to be able to cook and clean and landscape and make things, and paint
Is there a word that I need to say, to help the surgeon understand how it is for me. Is there some way to approach this? He has said before "when you can't stand it".....I'm there....I've been for a while. Every step is agony. Every step are pops and crackles. I have literally just lay in bed crying. I'm so tired of it. How do I make this guy understand....I don't want to. I am at the end. If there were no cure, I would kill myself..I dread every single day.

I went to college five years, and obtained two degrees. I was so happy and excited. So was my dad and husband. I got a job where I was liked, respected, made decent money, and enjoyed my work. My husband started a small business and I helped at that, too. We never caused trouble, just worked, raised our family, redid our home, did normal stuff, went camping, gardened, had dogs, etc.

Now all I am since I got hurt is I feel like a piece of trash. I can't work as an RN til this is fixed. So all I do is help out at our business a few hours a day til the pain is too much. I've gone from fifty hour weeks to fifteen. I don't bring in any money to speak of since I'm only my husbands helper. I feel bad for him to have to waste a dime on me. I can just feel everyone's staring at me when I go to buy gas or run to the drug store. They are probably thinking "why doesn't he get rid of her." "She is just lazy and now she says she hurts, she is prolly making it up though so she can get drugs."

I feel a lot of guilt because now, my husband has to do stuff like cooking, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, etc. I try to help but I end up soaked with sweat, dizzy, puking, in tears, etc. Every step my knees crack. They ache constantly but when I'm up is when they are bad.

Sometimes I wish I could run away. I'm so tired of this. I don't know how much longer I can live like this. It is no life at all. I don't know what I did wrong.