Sounds like you need to really be persistent with your Dr. Keep calling him and telling him calmly but firmly that the pain is too intense and you can't stand it. Ask him what it will take to convince him you need the surgery?
It's absolutely correct that you have nothing to feel badly about. I hope you have explained to your husband that you really want to be active again so he understands where you are coming from. Maybe he could come to your Dr.'s appt and help persuade the Dr. tohelp you.
I hope things get better for you.