I'm determined to work hard on myself in T, maybe even more so than before, to show my T that her disclosure to me didn't change anything. I want to work on my issues very strongly.

But, what happened last week did change something....

I still feel I want to apologize to her for "putting her on the spot" and making her tell me something she didn't want to tell me.

I feel disbelief about what she told me. Maybe it's more like disillusioned. Reality. Her life wasn't as perfect as I thought it was. That makes me feel very sad. For her and for me. It's the way life is. The previous week I had told her "I want to be you". That's not true anymore.

I admire her courage.

I have to accept my feelings, not push them away. Maybe some will say I'm overreacting, and tell me to go on as if I didn't know what my T is going through. Just to forget it. Easy to say, difficult to do when you're doing somatic experiencing and focusing on the "now", in the room, and how the space feels, and how my body feels.

Grist for the mill, I suppose.