Before you start thinking seriously about harming yourself, ask yourself this.
When you were doing it before, did it really solve any of your problems? I don't mean making you feel better for a day or two, but really solving something. If not, then why go down that road again?

You have been able to stop for a long time. That isn't always an easy thing to do, and you need to give yourself credit for making it this far. It took me almost forty years to get to the same place. It never solved any of my problems, and now i have an awful lot of scars and strange nerve feelings to deal with.

The other thing to think about is that once you start, it becomes easier and easier to do it again. Very quickly it becomes addictive, and then you no longer have control over it. If you think you may be headed that way, its time to seek help. SI just isn't worth it. All it does is add another problem to the ones you already have. You don't deserve to be punished, and it certainly isn't going to punish anyone else that you are angry with. Please reconsider. Life is too short to waste it self destruction. All things are cyclic. The good times will come back if you let them and work at it.

Sam2