Hi there. Don't give up hope. It sounds as if you are anxious about getting anxious. I know I am. If you went a long time without panic, you will be free of it again. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing. Whether it is something good or bad, it cannot go on and on without end. Even anxiety. It will break. In the meantime, try to cut yourself some slack. Don't be hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. It's not your fault or something you are doing to yourself. And if taking Ativan helps and your doctor prescribes it, then allow yourself that. As long as you don't get dependent on it, it's safe. Also, you could try some non-medicinal anti-anxiety treatments. You might look online for coping techniques such as relaxation exercises, meditations, etc. All the best to you and your baby.