Well for me I thought that I was an alter and not the host even though most of our entire life I ran the roll of it. When I was very little I took on being an alter. I even gave the alter that I thought was the host the host name and took on an alter name. I didn't want to be the host because I thought that if I wasn't the host then it wasn't happening to me. Well about 3 1/2 years ago I found out that I was actually the host and not an alter. It was very surprising and shocking. I was able to take care of things so much better when I thought that I was an alter protecting the host. I felt more a protector than the host. So now that I know that I am the host, it is harder to take care of things because I don't want to do it for myself. If I was doing it for someone else, then it would be so much easier. That is what I experienced.