First of all, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. Sometimes I can hear them in my head, but most of the time it's people actually talking around me. If I am not in direct conversation with them, I'll hear them talking about me, and it's almost always negative, judging and criticizing me. My mood generally ranges from moderately happy to questioning the point of existence and wondering if I should have ever been born. It can change very quickly, sometimes for no reason at all.

At a NAMI meeting I went to, an older person, someone with some experience in the matter, mentioned that mental illness can be unique to the individual. It's good to try and classify patterns, but at the same time, it might be best not to get to hung up on the label of your problems. That said, if you are having severe mood problems, it seems schitzoaffective to me. But I'm no doctor. In any case, you kind of need to try different meds until find ones that make you feel better. I wish you the best.

Another thing I'd like to point out is that I think you are expressing yourself well. It's possible that others see you as relatively normal, but you just feel so messed up that you assume otherwise. Just something to consider.