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Hi, I have a situation that I'd like some opinions on:
I'm in a stable, loving long-term relationship and we are planning on getting married and having children in the near future. I have made a lot of changes during the last 4 years and now make healthy decisions but that has not always been the case. During my 20s, I cut myself for several years and now have visible scars on the insides of my forearms. Over the last couple of years, I have been asked about the scars by 2 nieces and the child of my boyfriend's friend, namely what caused them. I never know what to say so I end up just saying that I cut myself a long time ago. I'm not ashamed of my scars and don't try to hide them but I'm not sure if I should tell children the truth about them. I don't want to give children (ages 6-11 years old) more information than their parents are comfortable with nor do I want to give them any ideas that self-harm is an acceptable behavior. I have not told their parents that they asked me about my scars because I didn't want to make their parents feel uncomfortable over what is normal curiosity. How honest should I be with other people's children?
I have a history of drug abuse, self-harm and an eating disorder and my boyfriend and I are unsure of how much to share with our future children, should the issues ever arise. In your opinion, is honesty the best policy with children? Or should we tailor our pasts to coincide with the values that we would like to impart to our future children, at least until they're mature?
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