That's what it feels like to me. My image is of you, standing there, pointing a finger at your ex-T, saying "you're not flexible enough! you don't take enough initiative! you're not willing to change!"

And good old fashioned projection might be operating here too. But it seems to me that blaming your therapist for failing to "model" the very traits you may most need to work on is a clever and creative way of failing to take responsibility for not doing the work that you need to do. The fact is that you don't need someone to model how to be flexible in order to be less rigid, you can just be less rigid. Complaining that she didn't show you how is just a smokescreen to avoid making changes. In her own therapy, your therapist is responsible for taking initiative and making changes. In your therapy, those things are your responsibility.