I'm going to just say a "mass thank you" for these replies, although there are only three, I've taken some benadryl and it's making me fall asleep here lol. I appreciate the input, and all the replies really resonate with me. I think you all could be right about having "anxiety about anxiety" I see my therapist tomorrow and I'm going to run that past her and see if she has any coping skills for me (which I'm sure she will, she totally rocks). But I've felt better the last day or so. Thanks again. Much appreciated