Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritOfAStorm
This is something I have dealt with my whole life...and today is another one of those days where I don't have time for it, but here it is again doggin me!
I have these memories of events in my life...almost all of them are embarrasing moments where I look back and think "_________must think I am insane"
Like in 8th grade I "fell in love" with a friends cousin; she did like me but she lived in Colorado and she gave me her address so I could keep in touch...instead I sent her these long letters about how beautiful she was and how much I loved her and how...oh God she must have thought I was a frickin lunatic cause she NEVER wrote back!
And the problem I have is that right now, its as if I am back in 8th grade and can feel that tug on my heart and I can hear my dad tell my mom "your son is in love."
See, now I have opened the flood gate and I can't even bear to list anything else for the sheer embarrassment of it...
And it's random as heck too...I don't seem to have any choice but to endure the memory of whatever my brain uncovers; sometimes there is only one memory and other times, like today, its like a list and I keep on shaking my head and like an ipod it just skips to the next one on the playlist.
So is that some kind of "mental health" issue I am unaware of? Do others have similar issues? If not, do 'normal' people just have embarrassing moments and then they just never remember them? Or is there a 'normal' cycle to these memories and mine isn't working properly? IS this related to being BPD2?
Thanks to all my fellow PC'ers for reading and assisting.
I know you all are not Pdocs or T's, but your input is VERY important to me!  |
We cant tell you what this is in you or even if its related to being BPD2 only your treatment providers can say what this is in you and whether its related to your BPD2...
what I can say is that in general remembering a past crush / love is normal. the brain stores all kinds of memories including the good times like when we are in love. then through out our life times memories good and bad come to mind when ever we think about something related to that memory..
that said I can also say in general reliving as if being there with a past event good or bad can sometimes be called a flashback which is part of having the mental disorder Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is also part of no mental disorder at all.. by that I mean when the reliving of a memory as if its happening right now is due by no trauma its considered to be completely normal process of the brain but if this memory is due to a traumatic event then its called PTSD.
Again we cant say what this is in ...you....only your treatment providers can say what is going on with in you and whether its part of one of your mental disorders.
suggestion if this continues to be a problem for you, contact your treatment providers, they can help you figure out and understand what and why this is happening to you.