*hugs southpole*

I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's so hard when we start opening up to someone (especially if we have problems with trust and openness in general) and then we get caught in this weird loop of "I want to tell them everything!!" and "Oh my gosh, I said too much!! I can never talk to them again!!"

I think it's nice that she sent you a really positive, unsolicited email. I know when my T has done it (only a few times) it has really made me feel good. Sometimes it is just nice to know someone is thinking about us

I know this sounds like a cliche answer, but I don't think there *is* a right or wrong thing in this scenario. I think you did what you felt the need/desire to do at the time, and that is what is important. I have done exactly the same thing, where I send a very open and honest email to my T, and then freak out the next day! The best thing I have found to do is to tell my T when I see her next that I got really nervous after sending the email, and talk to her about it. Usually she just reassures me that she was glad I sent it and that it is really helpful to her when I can be open and honest, and that tends to calm my anxiety. Do you think you can bring it up to your T when you see her next?

I think it's a really scary thing to start feeling comfortable enough to trust someone, and I think most therapists know that. I'm pretty sure they are very prepared for the "push and pull" that comes with that process. It seems like you are really aware of how that is happening within yourself, and I think that is really great. It might be good just to let your T know that you are noticing this pattern, even if you don't mention the email example specifically. This is part of the therapy process, and it is hard and confusing and kinda scary, but you are not alone in it!