I think you have to draw a line for what you want, set a boundary; to start, your husband has to sever all ties to this woman or you will sever ties with your husband; he can't have his cake and eat it too. It is hard to let go of someone you love but he's not respecting you and that is your #1 job in life, to be in charge of putting yourself in the healthiest positions you can find so you can live and love at your best. You are being compromised by another here, you have to "move" as you cannot make anyone else do so, you can only tell them where your boundaries are and then he has to decide what he wants, what is best for himself.