Hi, I am very new here obviously. I've come to post about something that's been bothering me for a while. I haven't been able to find any creative way to express it.

First off, I am not depressed. I have my sad days, but I don't at all consider myself depressed.
I do talk to myself very, very often. I know it's normal. I talk to myself for a good 30 minutes to 2 hours before falling asleep to wind down. Often I will plan conversations that I will have in advance and discuss various things because, frankly, I feel like I listen better to me than anyone else I've met. I'm more comfortable with myself.

It's just that sometimes it gets to the point where I start arguing with myself, mostly in my head, about what's good or right. I can't figure out where I stand on anything, it gets to the point that when I witness a real argument I end up on both sides. The most common argument I have with myself is about self-importance and arrogance.
I find myself fighting for whether I am an arrogant hypocrite or not, mostly.

I know objectively that I am not better than other people. But I can't seem to accept it, like some narcissism is blocking me. I don't know for sure if I'm a narcissist. I don't have any personality disorder that I know of.

This arguing with myself is driving me crazy. I can't make it stop. It just runs on and on and on. It does eventually quit on its own, but it always comes back. I don't hear the voices in my head clearly as a schizophrenic would, it's just a thought process that runs and runs and won't shut up.
In turn it makes me very cynical, and like I said, I end up criticizing every side of everything. I can't figure out who or what I stand for, because it seems like I can't stand any of it. I feel like my own team a lot of the time.

I've lost a large amount of my capability for empathy and sympathy. I find that most of it is faked just so other people won't think I'm a jerk when they tell me about their problems.

This has all led me to harbor a strong hate for political, religious, and similar subjects, because there is no right answer, yet everybody believes he is right. And I can't handle that. I will not even call myself an agnostic because I refuse to associate myself with that group of people. I try not to avoid it to feel more special than others, but because everyone believes they are more important than me.

tl;dr i'm probably the biggest cynical hipster in the world, and i can't find anybody who relates to me