I have been very depressed and suicidal at times. I have been handling the suicidal stuff pretty well with PRN seroquel.

I was all set to have a few ECTs, but that was cancelled because of the large dose of Ativan and Tegretol I take.

I was going to go to the ER to be admitted at my usual hospital on Friday morning. My husband who has been very nasty to me lately decided to go golfing all day instead of helping me pack and drive me to the ER. That got cancelled.

This depressive episode just is not lifting. I spend my days between bed and the couch. I don't dress and take a shower about once a week. I want to do things sometimes but my energy is so so low.

If there is a bed my PDOC says I can go inpatient. But I keep thinking how is it going to help. There are no new meds to try or tweak. I would have to pack myself and I am not sure how I would get there.

But this life I am living at home really isn't a life. I have my cats, my sons boxer and you guys, but that is it.

My husband told me last week he wants a divorce. He believes I am not depressed.

Feeling bad for him I said I understand about the divorce, I won't fight you. Do you want the house ? He goes into a rage and says is that all you have to say. I am going to 302 you and you will never get out.

I could use some advice. I am sorry if this all sounds so old.
I know I am going round and round. I do want to break the circle.
I just am not sure the best way.