I really do not know what to do ... we have started talking realistically about breaking up if things do not get better in the next 6 - 12 months.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8.5 years (living together for 6.5 of those). When we first started dating I made the mistake of telling him about my past which involved several one night stands in close succession after breaking up from my previous boyfriend. He regularly has unwanted thoughts of what I did with those other men and bad dreams along the same line. It is torture for him and in turn for me but we don't know how to make those thoughts go away. We have argued and promised each other we would try to make things better over the years. We have seen several counsellors together and separately with no success.

We desperately don't want to end this and I guess that is why we have stuck with it for so long - maybe we are just stupid for torturing ourselves for so many years.

Does anyone have any suggestions or know of something that has worked in a situation similar to this? Everything else in our relationship makes it too good to leave but I don't think we can live like this forever.