My heart just breaks for you. Inpatient might be a good option. Another thought (which I admittedly don't now anything about) is some sort of therapeutic retreat-like place. I know they are out there, but idk how expensive they are or quite what to call them. They are sort of like rehab for people without substance issues but with other serious mental health concerns. They do individual and group therapies and don't just boot you out after a week like most inpatient stays. Does anyone on here know what I'm talking about? I know they are out there, but likely not that many of them.

Or less formally, do you have a friend or relative a good distance away (maybe another state) that you could stay with for like a month? You need comfort and care and support. You don't need to be put down.

Sending you thoughts of strength and comfort.

EJ