One horrible day I just feel so miserable deep inside, the pain I am experiencing in tremendous it's hard to function at working feeling like a worthless piece of ****. I want to avoid everyone at this point because I don't want to bri g them down with how I feel.

I just want to let all the pain out and cry a river a pain out of me. I feel like I am walking on pins and needles, my head has gone numb from the dark burden the presses me like I am in a vice of torture.

I don't want anymore to pity my dam *** because I don't need someone to give a **** about me right now. The last time I had a support system my spouse told them to leave me alone and they did. So now I don't go to anyone when I need a support because my spouse messed that up for me.

I couldn't even manage to stay somewhat awake in a all hands meeting without falling asleep and staring off into space it was very challenging today to do any tasks at work. I feel like the biggest loser and piece of **** on the face of the Earth.

I don't like to suffer anymore and I can see how easily someone to put a ****ing gun to there dam head a pull the ****ing trigger. It's insane to think that kinda way but the ordeal gets worse and worse you just want it to go all away. I can say this and truly mean it. There are lows in depression that can drive you Insane and thing of some horrible things that you can do to yourself just to get rid of it all.