I've been tempted to cancel in the past when I have had ruptures with my T although I never did cancel and it was always good to go in and see her.

This cancellation is different. It has nothing to do with T or my relationship with her. AND, I've never cancelled, ever, in the past. This is the first time.

I feel like I cannot cope with opening the Pandora's Box of emotions and if I DID go to session I would minimize everything and it would be useless to spend time there.

I'm even thinking of suspending therapy for a few weeks or months. It feels surreal that I'm even contemplating this.

Will I have post-cancellation blues? I have no idea. My session was scheduled for Thursday.